And the Cast Grows Larger…

Yes. Cast. Because my daughter’s wedding is not only a wedding, but also a TV show. Yes. We have joined the millions of other people who have become part of the growing phenomena of reality TV. The show that Lindsay is on is about four brides competing for a honeymoon. The brides attend each other’s weddings and rate them. The highest rating wins the honeymoon- valued at about 15 to 20 thousand dollars. So, there will be three extra people at the wedding, who will be critiquing it on camera eventually to be shown on national TV. Naturally, everything has to be perfect. And that means if there’s a bone in the filet of fish, you will lose points. For sure. The reality of the reality TV show became more actuality when we (and when I say “we” I mean about eight of us) were meeting with our very favorite wedding caterer, Vickie, to make and pay for the final arrangements. The actuality struck me when Vickie said the words “camera crew”. Those two words-camera crew- were not in our vocabulary when we began this journey. But life-as this year has proven- holds many surprises.

The night of making final arrangements was towards the end of a very hectic week of dealing with the unexpected- the unexpected in terms of Sonny our almost eight-month old Cockapoo puppy. It began with my dreams. I am a little bit psychic and my dreams sometimes are premonitions of what is to come. I am sounding a little strange, but I think many writers are a little atypical. Anyway my dreams foretell the future in some way or warn me about things. One night I dreamt that Sonny ran away. The next day as I was doing some work in the kitchen and I dared to allow Sonny to wander aimlessly around the house, I went to check on him. He has a cat-like habit of walking on the back of our sectional. And that’s just where I busted him- eating my English Ivy plant that was supposedly out of his reach. So after scolding him and sticking my fingers down his throat to see what I could retrieve, I googled “if your dog eats an English Ivy plant..” And the responses I got were “call the vet, take him to the vet immediately, call the ASPCA," etc. etc. Obviously, this was not good news. So I called the vet. “How much did he eat?” Dr. Gotthelf asked. “How much did you eat?” I asked Sonny. Sonny didn’t know, nor did I. “Do you have hydrogen peroxide in the house?” Dr. Gotthelf inquired. “If I did, it would surprise me,” I responded. “Well, give him a tablespoon with a dropper and he should throw it up. Then watch him for the next 24 hours.” I went looking for the hydrogen peroxide and was surprised to find it in Kimberly’s bathroom; however, I could not locate a dropper. The only thing remotely close to a dropper was my turkey baster. So Sonny boy got a hefty shot of peroxide basting down his throat. In less than five minutes he threw up on my $900 rug that he’s been chewing holes in. I was able to see how much English Ivy he ate along with all the tissues he’s been stealing out of my mother’s garbage pail. He was fine for the rest of the day, but unfortunately my $900 rug is in really bad shape. The next night, I had another dream about Sonny; he was running around the yard, then disappeared and came back with different hair. The next day, my mother and Diana- who is my mother’s companion and takes care of Sonny for me also- were sitting in the backyard when I came home with some groceries. As I was unpacking I saw Diana come through the sliders and leave through the front door. I followed her. I noticed that she was holding Sonny’s leash and collar, but there was no Sonny. “Is everything alright?” I asked, knowing it wasn’t. “No,” responded Diana, “Sonny got through a hole in the fence and is in the yard of the neighbor behind you. I’m going to get him now.” There was supposed to be no way for Sonny to get out of the backyard because Mark had checked for holes in the fence but he must have missed this one. I decided to go back to my backyard while Diana tried to retrieve him the other way. I was going to rely on the slight possibility that Sonny would come when I called “Come”. Sometimes Sonny comes; but only when he decides he’s good and ready. First, I went to the bushes and called over the fence to the neighbor behind me, whom I never met, “Is my dog still there?” I yelled. “Yes,” responded a man’s voice. I couldn’t see him but he sounded a little nervous; I thought I heard Sonny romping around like a lunatic on the other side. “Can you get him out of here soon because I’m afraid of dogs,” said the voice of the man. Wonderful, I thought. I called, “Sonny!!!” And then, as if appearing from thin air- just like in my dream, out came my very naughty puppy, although his hair was the same; however, at that instant, I did realize how much he had grown over the last few months. Whew! I went to sleep that night, relieved and hopeful that I would have no more dreams.

On Thursday, Kim, my mom and my sister-in-law, Bonni met at the Bridal shop for the final fitting of Lindsay’s gown. As we were waiting for Lindsay, a girl came over to me to introduce herself; she said she was Danielle. At first, I must have looked a little puzzled, then she further explained, “I’m the day of coordinator.” I remembered that Lindsay had told me about Danielle- that this was a barter type of deal. Scott and Lindsay were helping Danielle and her fiancé out with their stuff, in exchange for Danielle being Lindsay’s day of coordinator. The TV show will also give Danielle some publicity for her day of coordinator business. Dan, Danielle’s fiancé was building Lindsay and Scott’s deck in the backyard also as barter for Scott’s being the DJ and photographer for their engagement party and Lindsay doing Danielle’s makeup. [Dan and Danielle- cute- sounds like Phil and Phyllis (Scott’s parents)]. Danielle explained to me what exactly she’s going to be doing the day of the wedding. “I will be taking care of Lindsay- helping her put on her dress, helping her go to the bathroom, fanning her if she’s hot- all the things you won’t have to do so you can take care of yourself, not worry about Lindsay at all, and enjoy the wedding.” I wanted to say where were you the last 27 years? There could have been many times I could have used a day of coordinator to take care of Lindsay, especially the time I lost her on the beach, when she was 6, for the longest 30 minutes of my life.

So, we had an entourage for Lindsay’s final fitting. However there was one point when I forced myself to tune out and fade out everyone except for my older daughter and me as I admired her in her wedding dress. It was my “moment”. I allowed myself to revel in this moment, to embrace its significance as a milestone in my life as a mother. I thought for that one instant how incredible this moment is- as incredible as when I held her for the first time in a pink hospital blanket- a moment any mother dares to imagine. Then I let my mother in my moment- for it was just as incredible for her to see her first granddaughter in her wedding dress. Then I let her Aunt Bonni in my moment, who adored her as her first niece, her quasi-little girl before she had children of her own. And then, Kim came in my moment, who must have been thinking how she used to play bride-dress-up all the time with her older sister, and possibly might be imagining herself in a wedding dress some day. And finally, what the heck, I let Danielle in my moment, even though I just met her, because after all, she was the day of coordinator. The dreamlike scene ended abruptly and it became frenetic and hectic as usual, with all of us asking questions and making sure that every single part of that dress was as flawless as possible before the seamstress puts her final stitches in.

Our busy night continued as we sped off to the caterer, meeting Scott there and the florist. We had to go over every last feature of the wedding, from the table linens to the centerpieces to the runner for the aisle, blah, blah, blah. Everyone was talking at once. Everyone had ideas and more ideas and better ideas. At one point, I got up to sit next to my mother, the only one not speaking. She leaned over to me, “I think you need about two more coordinators,” she said in her most facetious voice. Vickie, our caterer, finally put on her teacher voice and shut us all up. “I think we have too many chiefs here,” she bellowed. The cacophony ended; though, only for about ten minutes while Vickie ran the show. Then it began again. It seemed to last forever. Bonni said at one point, “I have a manicure in 12 hours, let’s wrap this up.” I got up to ask about using a restroom; I didn’t want to disrupt the wedding that was going on while we were meeting. Vickie directed me to a smaller bridal suite right at the bottom of the staircase. It was a lovely little room with a beautiful private bathroom. When I came back, I asked Vickie, “Can that be my and my mom’s bathroom during the wedding?” “That’s the room where the camera crew is going to be,” she responded. She must have seen me wince at that. “But I’m sure you can go in and use the bathroom while they’re there,” she added, appeasing me, with a big smile and a few nods for added emphasis.

Yesterday, we went to Teresa, our hairstylist. I had my hair dyed, keeping it my new red shade, which everyone seems to like and did a trial for my hairstyle for the wedding. Bouncy big and little curls. We went over the logistics and time frame for next week with Teresa. We will begin at 4:30 in the morning with our makeup, hairstyling, and dressing and then camera crews..yes…camera crews.

Lights, camera, action… my daughter’s wedding- one week from today.

"All right, Mr. De Mille, I'm ready for my closeup"