The first thing, usually, people ask when you announce that your child is engaged is- “When are they getting married?” The second thing is- “Where?” These are loaded questions when bearing in mind the mega-importance of this day and all the details and questions that have to be considered.
Should we have it on an evening, early evening, afternoon?
Should it be on a Saturday, Sunday, a holiday weekend?
How many people are we inviting? How many will come?
What about hotel accommodations for out-of-towners?
Will the hall we choose fit our guests comfortably?
What food should we pick to serve?
Can we have the ceremony outdoors and if the weather isn’t nice,
will the indoor ceremony be just as pretty?
The list goes on and on and on and on. One thing is sure, a hundred things can go right, but if one thing goes wrong and someone isn’t happy, they will talk about it for years and years and years. For example, I remember a time one of my cousins got married and they must have had a problem fitting all their guests in the ballroom. My Grandma Fanny, parents, aunts and uncles were sitting at their table when Grandma remarked in her European accent, “It’s a lovely vedding, but vhy did they put us in the other room?” My cousin is not even married to this woman anymore and Grandma Fanny is dead 37 years, but everyone still remembers what she said and how annoyed they all were with the seating arrangements.
We certainly do not want to have the wedding that people still talk about negatively for years to come. Even though Lindsay and Scott love the place, we want their guests to feel the same way. So, when we made our final decision, signed on the dotted line and gave our deposit, we decided to take the authority, my mom, also known as Nanny, to see what she thinks. Nanny is not only a mother and grandma but she’s both my and my daughters’ best friend. And, naturally, you need your best friend to give her “seal of approval”. On Sunday morning, I drove out to the assisted living where my mother resides to pick her up and take her to the place we chose. Luckily, it was a beautiful sunny day, perfect for imagining what the day should look like and what we are praying it will look like. They were having a party there with 230 guests- it was for a first birthday- I could only imagine where this little girl’s wedding is going to be if her first birthday is here. This would give us the opportunity to see how comfortable the number of our guests would fit. We did the tasting already; both sets of parents and Lindsay and Scott sat in the banquet manager, Vicky’s office last week while she brought out cocktails and trays of food. Everything was delicious but we were still worried about people bumping elbows while they were eating their food. As beautiful as the place is, it can only handle about 230 people.
Well, if we adored Vicky before, she became the "messiah" when I brought my mother in. She took one look at my mom and remarked, cheerfully, “Oh, so you brought out the big guns.” Mom warmed up to her immediately and told her about the assisted living she resides in and how she does a comedy act ever other Monday and about her “mean” Charlie Chaplin walk. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, “ Vicky laughed.
Then I took mom to show her the place and she absolutely fell in love. “It’s not like a hall, it’s like someone’s home. I could definitely picture the wedding here, “ she said. She also thought it would be big enough and nobody would complain about their seat. She is a little psychic; so I hope this is confirmed. When we took her outside, Lindsay showed her where the outdoor ceremony would be and said “Nanny, practice your walk down the aisle.” And so, Nanny did her Charlie Chaplin impersonation walk down the pretty cobblestone path to the gazebo.” We all laughed and cried.
Many people are telling me to enjoy the planning process because it’s just as important to remember as the actual wedding day. This day with my mom will always be a wonderful memory to hold on to. Everything felt so right.
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