One of my favorite scenes in a movie is when Barbara Streisand sings “Don’t Rain On My Parade” in Funny Girl. I just love when all the budinskys are telling her what she should do and she puts her hands over her ears and starts saying, “Don’t tell me,” then breaks into the song making her point. Ahhh…if only real life was like a musical and when someone bombards you with their opinion of why you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing, you just turn to them and burst into song, with an orchestra blaring behind you for extra support. Which brings me to my point about the people who tell me that we are spending so much on one day and how ridiculous it is when we could put all this money to some other good use. And don’t think I don’t know that as you’re reading this, that you have been one of those people at some point, because I know I have.
I just attended my dear friends Janet and Rob’s daughter Kristine’s wedding this weekend. She is the second of the children in my group of friends to get married. These are the children whom we witnessed grow up, the ones whom we discussed at every stage of their lives from toddler years to teen years to young adulthood. These are the ones who grow up so beautiful and tall, who mesmerize us with their transformation, until we suddenly look in the mirror and see that we have transformed, as well, and crossed the threshold from youth to middle age. In June, the first of our daughters got married and her mom brought the pictures to Kristine’s wedding. “It went by so fast,” my friend said, “I only have the pictures to remind me.” So, is it all worth it?
The night before the wedding I drove home with a colleague and friend who is one of those “wedding” poo-poo-ers. She didn’t have a wedding and never intended to. It wasn’t for her. “I think it’s crazy to spend all this money on just one day,” she told me. Unlike Barbara Streisand, I listened and even accepted her point of view. Saturday, the day of the wedding arrived, with rain showers hovering over us all day. We drove to the church, one where Ted Kennedy married his first wife, through the picturesque, winding roads of Westchester, excited, although, disappointed in the weather. And then as Mendelssohn’s wedding march resounded on the organs, Kristine appeared, led by her parents down the aisle. The rain didn’t matter because it was as if the sun decided to shine just around Kristine for that day, she looked so radiantly beautiful and idyllic. I made sure to catch a glimpse at the groom, Andrew, as he saw his bride, but I could never describe his expression in words, it would not do it justice. Julie, Kris’s grandma, read from the Old Testament, so poignantly, from the book of Sirach. It was the first wedding of her four grandchildren. It was a lovely ceremony, despite, the downpour of rain, which continued all day and into the dusk as we left the hotel for the reception. When inside, though, there was plenty of delicious food and music and laughter as guests embraced each other and danced. Every moment was full of joy, even the bittersweet ones missing and remembering those who were no longer here. It was especially touching seeing Kris and Andrew dance their first dance while Rob and Janet watched on the side, welling with emotion. There was so much to remember and cherish- the moving speeches made by Jaime, sister and maid of honor; Rob, Kris’s dad and by Andrew’s brother and father; the bride dancing with her dad and the groom with his mom. Many times people came over to me to say, “You’re next!” I let myself begin to imagine Lindsay and Scott’s wedding day.
The next morning, at the breakfast, Janet, still on cloud nine, told me, “I had a ball”. So there. And for all of you out there, you wedding poo-poo-ers, and nay-sayers. Is it all worth it? Yep. I believe it is. It’s just one day. But it’s a day full of lasting memories and love and bliss and we need as many of those in a lifetime as possible, no matter what the cost, even if it’s just one day, because…
“ooh life is juicy, juicy and you see, I’ve gotta have my bite,sir….Don’t bring around the cloud to rain on my parade.”
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