Amylase- 526, Lipase-2000

4/17-18/10

I didn’t know about amylase or lipase until now, nor did I need to know. I expected this journey was going to be about learning and using the vocabulary of wedding planning- such as “crumb catcher” neckline, names for exotic flowers and even new names for colors- like purple haze. I feel as if I am in a haze right now…my insides feel raw and exposed, my shoulders are heavy with the weight of anxiety. My little bride lies in a bed 10 minutes away in a hospital I passed quite often that gave me no reason to enter before now. She is in pain- a pain I wish to grasp and set into my own body. But nature only gives us the ability to feel the pain while we are birthing them and then we are helpless after that.

I never imagined being bombarded by all this medical jargon and have to know it and understand it. But who plans on being in so many hospitals in one year? Beginning with me and my heart valves, I know more about the parts of the body, how they function and various diagnostic terms than my little middle aged brain can handle. And that’s even with being a fan of Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice and House. Lindsay’s lipase levels are at 2000 (down from 6000). They should be at anywhere between 150 and 286. Her amylase levels are at 526. Normal range for those levels is between 50 and 115. I am sitting by her hospital bed looking at the pink blossoms on the tree outside the window reminding me spring is here. The hum of nurses outside the door reminds me we are here. In the hospital. Again.

It began with a stomachache, with the typical symptoms…nausea, vomiting, etc., etc. Three weeks. Doctor visits. Sonograms, MRIs, CAT scans, blood tests. Gall bladder? Maybe. Her bile duct (the tube that leads from her gall bladder to aid in the digestion process) was dilated (enlarged) to 11 millimeters when it should be 5 millimeters. This means there is a blockage- gallstones one would think. But the sonograms, MRIs, CAT scans reveal no gallstones. Doctor is stumped, sends Lindsay to a gastroenterologist, who is also stumped, sends her to a specialist, Dr. Stark, who is my hero. He gets the Hallmark card now. Dr. Stark does a procedure called ERCP. ERCP? Definition: endoscopic retrograde cholangio pancreatography. This is a technique in which an endoscope, with a camera on its end, is passed down the esophagus, through the stomach, and into the duodenum. The entrance of the common bile duct into the duodenum can be viewed through the endoscope. Next, the surgeon can pass a special instrument on the end of the endoscope into the common bile duct as it enters the duodenum. Did I lose you? Welcome to my world of gastroenterology. In simpler terms, I have beautiful pictures of my daughter from her engagement photos and lovely pictures of her bile duct, gall bladder, liver and pancreas, not to mention the rest of her digestive system. Included in those photos are two stents, which the doctor inserted so that he could fix her “plumbing”. She also had a sphincterotomy, which means “cutting of the sphincter or muscle that lies at the juncture of the intestine with both the bile and pancreatic ducts”. In other words, Dr. Stark fixed that, as well. He calls himself a “plumber for the stomach”. I call him my champion. The real root of the cause- a genetic anomaly- her pancreatic duct crossed over her bile duct. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what it was, after a very patient Dr. Stark, explained it to me about nine times.

This was supposed to be a morning procedure, in and out- in by 8am, out by 12pm. Recovery was supposed to be easy. Lindsay even made an appointment to try on her wedding dress that night, which had just come in last week. Plans. Plans. Plans. What did John Lennon say? Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. Smart man, John Lennon.

Recovery was not easy. Poor Lindsay was in too much pain. “What could it be?” I asked. “Pancreatitis,” Mary, the attending nurse said, hesitantly. “What is that?” I asked, my head hurting from too much information at this point. “Inflammation of the pancreas,” Mary, replied. Mary is also on my “Heroes” list. Mary was very funny. She kept on telling Scott that this is good practice for the next 60 years. When Lindsay asked him to throw away her used tissue, Mary said, “Get used to it. One day, she’ll be asking you to put her teeth in a jar.” Anyway, at 1pm we knew, she wasn’t getting any better. She had to be admitted into this hospital, that I had passed so many times, without a second thought.

And now she has been in the hospital for four days. Pancreatitis. Lipase- 2000; Amylase- 526. Lipase and amylase- these are the digestive enzymes made by the pancreas. Now I know this and so do you. Pancreatitis- another “itis”. Add that to the list of the maladies my 27-year old daughter has faced in her lifetime- appendicitis, viral meningitis, three surgeries and a broken wrist. My heart breaks. My sister and brother-in-law came and brought my mom to the hospital yesterday. She sat down next to Lindsay, reached for and held her hand. She didn’t say a word. But in those few minutes, her actions spoke all the emotions I am feeling. I am broken. I want to cry out to G-d, if he is there, if he will listen. “Why?” “Why now?” All of this- me, my dog, my daughter- why? And I hear nothing but the lyrics to John Lennon’s song-

Out on the ocean sailing away,

I can hardly wait,

To see you to come of age,

But I guess we'll both,

Just have to be patient,

Yes it's a long way to go,

But in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,

Take my hand,

Life is just what happens to you,

While you’re busy making other plans..

It is Sunday, now. Spring is what’s happening while my daughter is in the hospital, still. The birds are singing outside my kitchen window; the trees are turning from white and pink blossoms to green. It is quiet as the sun slowly rises, casting light against the lawn and touching my shoulder. My little puppy, Sonny, sleeps sweetly and quietly in his crate; Kim and Mark are sleeping, too. The only ones awake right now are me, worry and concern. I am anxious to call the hospital to find out how my girl is doing. My poor girl, who through all this, I realize is quite lucky. Her love, her fiancé, her hero (and mine, too, as well), Scott, has stayed by her bedside- slept in the hospital with her, through it all. “He really loves you,” Dr. Stark told her. “While you were in pain, it looked like he was feeling the pain with you.”

In sickness and in health…

Lucky girl.

What more could a mother ask?

For her lipase to go down to 150 and her amylase to go down to 50. Please.